My Inner Police refused bribe

I think I am being foolish. It’s not easy to get ‘true friends’ these days and when I have got one – I am making this person nut. I am talking to you directly my friend, ‘you are such an honest friend, and its nothing to do with gender not is there any fear in my mind as to the relationship between the both of us. Your friendship with me is my connection with God. It’s not about both of us when we are together but when we are not. I experience my demons and they keep whispering all around me, "you are an imposter."

I can not lie to you and my inner voice tells me – I am a fake – it cries inside me as if I have imprisoned many of my masked slaves inside me. I think my "inner police" is still honest and have been refusing to accept bribe. My fear is that I may not be able to live up to my billing. One of my inner masked myself has refused me several times; another person inside me is bent to give all credits to my luck.

I am not afraid of you being a woman and I being a man. I am not afraid of our friendship being a friendship of opposite sex people. I feel fully connected and there is no doubt in my mind that our friendship is clean and is forever. But one of my inner selves is telling me that "you should be afraid because you are a fake" – I know I am not but still I am afraid.

The fact of our society is that normally when opposite sex people begin their relationship it's the female who should act the way I am acting. Perhaps you are stronger than I am.

$40M Hindu Temple Opens In Toronto

Sunday July 22, 2007

CityNews.ca Staff

It's already a source of tremendous pride for Canada's Hindu community. After more than a year's worth of construction, Prime Minister Stephen Harper helped open a $40 million holy temple Saturday, the BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir in Toronto.

In his speech, Harper praised India's efforts to alleviate tensions and reconcile interests within it's diverse population through democratic institutions. "Where far too many other countries have failed, India is succeeding," he said.

He added that the opening of the holy temple marks another step in Canada's quest to accommodate diversity, and that it stands as a testament to both Canada and India's traditions of pluralism.

Located in north-west Toronto, the temple made of Turkish limestone and Italian marble is being called an architectural masterpiece.

It's 2,000 builders were required to follow ancient Hindu rules governing how a holy shrine is to be built.

Federal Opposition Leader Stephane Dion, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty and Toronto Mayor David Miller also attended the opening.

Death

There are few things of our life that we take too seriously. Death is one of them. We know that death is one of the natural functions that is made to loom so large only by our ignorance and taboo. If someone dies in our family, we all cry so much but hide when our morals which dies inside us on a daily basis. Death they said is not the greatest loss in life - the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we are still alive. Everybody who is alive will have to die one day its a fact. And things become easier when you know the facts of life upfront but this fact is not an easy one to cope with. No one wants to die - everyone wants to be immortal - even though death is the fact of life but nobody wants to accept it. The other fact is that it takes a lot of courage to live as life wants you to live. There is a saying "anybody can die it takes courage to live." So true. We take death too seriously because it is something which keeps happening in front of us everyday.

The Seed - An email story sent by Sunil Gupta

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to chose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

"It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO," he said. "I have decided to choose one of you." The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today - a very special seed. I want you to plant
the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have
grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds
and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened.

Jim felt sick at his stomach. It was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his
colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back.

"My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO.

"Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty
pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Here is your next Chief Executive! His
name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said? Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.

I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.

"When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap
later.

Let me not drift away from my target

I have no idea how to self-control and how to set limits in 'love', 'friendship' or any other 'game of chance'. Wait a minute what did I call love and friendship? A friend tells me about the importance of setting limits. I am told it is important and that I should think long-term, and be realistic in my approach to these things. Sometimes I have a feeling that may have recently started to drift away from my actual target. I know I should not. Let me try to focus back on my target. Let me focus on my target.

Momories

Memories and old feelings seem to be coming to the surface for reason not very clear to me. Where are these memories coming from? Where and why are they hidden in-between? With these memories on my mind, I feel like connecting to my roots. Sometimes it feels as if I have simply left my roots somewhere and there will never be any connection with them but whenever the old memories surface – my desire to go back to my root too become alive.

We do a lot of things and come across a lot of people – after a while they are become memories. We forget memories but it seems memories don’t forget us. Memories are just like our computers – each memory is packed in a path and a file. They are hidden until the file is not clicked open.

Living away from your country sometimes makes these memories to tick more than usual. There are times that you want to discuss something with someone but you don’t know whom do you want to discuss with and what. You need somebody to whom you can connect – 100% without any reason and without any purpose. You feel like having somebody who can hear your silence and can speak to you without opening lips.

I wish to visit them and wish they visit me; I wish to write to them and wish they write to me; I wish to make a telephone call and wish they call me – but who are these people that I am wishing for?

Memories kept coming and I kept waking up in the middle of the night. I do not remember the days, I do not remember the dates or years but some fade memories kept me up. I don’t even remember the complete incidents – I think this is the beauty of forgotten memories.

Was it This Day? - A poem by Sandhya Advani - my friend

Was it this day
Nineteen years ago
you held my hand
promised vows?
Thrilled was I
with my loved one at last
stars shone in my eyes

Just a month laterinsults heaped,
humiliations began
Tears flowed...
Your silence robbed the stars
only a darkness remained

Drifting through life
My womb bore the seeds
Of your existence
No happy moments
Just a vacant stare

My dreams,
my ambitions,
my desires,
my smile
my laughter
all lost
to a stillness in my heart

And now,
The woman lost forever
a mother exists
protecting, nourishing,
a lifetime spent
serving others...

I Met You One Day - A poem by Sandhya Advani - my friend

I met you one day
You smiled, spoke softly
Charmed me with your voice,
Your eyes looking into me
That special smile,
I smiled back...
My eyes searching
Searching for that special spark
That special bond that tied you to me

I thought I caught a glimpse
Of warmth, tenderness
That itself was enough
For me to open my heart

I shared my life, my circumstances
My feelings, my pain
Hoping, longing that
You would be my friend,
Hoping you would stand by my side

But you vanished,
Leaving me bewildered
I cried, my heart ached
Is this all that life is about?
Don't people matter?
Don't I matter?
Is everything sacrificed,
at the altar of personal gain?

You realized the truth
It was too much of an effort
You vanished
Leaving me with dried tears

It's fine,
I've got used to it now
Its just a matter of time
I've grown stronger,
My smile deeper
I've survived through it all
And now I don't need you anymore.

Forgotten - A poem by my friend: Sandhya Advani

Forgotten I'm a woman
My long nails cut off
Don't need any adornment
Just purify me
With a caring heart

Forgotten the pangs of desire
The cravings of being loved
Barriers around me now
No more pain
Just pure existence!

Forgotten my smiles
My laughter,
Only one focus
To prove my worth
In this ever-changing world

The past is just a memory
Time has hardened me
Standing up after every fall
Bruised, scratched, embittered
Forging ahead...

Now I'm cold, unfeeling
Ice around my heart
Maybe some day,
The ice will melt
And I'll feel like a woman again.

New Hopes - a poem by my newly found friend Sandhya Advani

New hopes, new beginnings
A seed waiting to burst
Drops of rain fall,
An aroma emerges
From the sun soaked earth
A surrender
The earth to the rainIts ecstasy...

She stretches her arms
All accepting
Bearing the brunt and passion
Of a long awaited lover

Rains keep lashing
All night long
Slowly the fury abates
It's now gentle, mellow
Like a tender caress

Nature in her finery
Like a newly wed bride
Lets out a satiated sigh
She has waited long
Drops coming faster
The earth smiles
New life springs forth
From her womb.
She feels fulfilled at last !

Thoughts are powerful

We are all on a great journey. A journey that seeks truth and answers the Great Questions. The very same questions that have been posed by people for millennia. Since the dawn of humankind, we have struggled to come to terms with and to understand the mysteries that surround us. Humans have asked themselves:

Who Am I?
What Am I?
Where Do I Come From?
Why Am I Here?
Where Am I Going?
What Should I Do?
What Is Love?
What Is The Human Mind?
What Is Thought?

Humankind has always innately felt part of the Universe or Cosmos. We have always instinctively known from our actions that we are masters of our own destiny. Intuitively, we have believed that if God is to be found then he is to found in everything -- including within ourselves. And now, science has uncovered new knowledge that confirms our deepest beliefs and provides proof that we really are more than we think we are.

There is new and yet ancient knowledge that will finally help us to understand our true place in the Universe. Certain arcane wisdom has survived through the ages and now throws light upon many of the mysteries that have previously eluded our understanding. New evidence and research concludes that:

• Thoughts are things.
• Thoughts are powerful.
• Thoughts can, and do, change the world.
• We affect the universe, our world and our lives with our thoughts, emotions and our intentions.
• We have access to a power that is abundant, unlimited, and is available to for the asking. It can provide us with answers, assistance, guidance, and whatever else that we may ask of it.
• The power is within us all. We do not serve it - we are the power. We are 'entangled' and connected. We are one with each other and with everything else.
  As such we are creators. We can design and live a future of our own making for the benefit of ourselves, our loved ones and our world.